There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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