i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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