I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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