btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
organizing the empties. That sober.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
