5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
