I'm sorry my penis didn't work
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
