i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
