And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
