awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
