ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
We left the knife in your bed.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
