there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
