hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Too much gin, very little bucket
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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