at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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