Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
