you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
My vagina just recognized that song.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
