at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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