friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
