u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
