Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
