"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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