she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize