Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
