Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Randomize
