that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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