Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize