dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I just want to make out with him forever
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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