i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
