Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
