She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
