sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
