i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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