Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
