And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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