Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
So much Jack, so little girl.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Randomize
