im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
my liver is dry heaving
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
