I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
