Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I love you.
Bad choice
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