his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
