i think my tv is drunk
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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