i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
