just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
