just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
