i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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