my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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