dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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