i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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