I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
