Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
