No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
