I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
