im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
