I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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