awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
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