I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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