Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
im six kinds of drunk right now
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Randomize
