The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
