i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
