im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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