You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
