my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
