just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
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