My hair reeks of homosexuality.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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