I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
